Troll Feeders Anonymous

Hello, my name is Adam, and I feed trolls.

I try to ignore them. I try to just walk away. But. Just. You know? You know.

My sponsor, another Adam, who I believe you’ve all met, says that I need to use my time more wisely. Read a book. Spend quality time with my loved ones. Talk to people who will give me the benefit of the doubt and will genuinely try to have a conversation.

For a long time I’ll be good. And when it looks like something’s going to escalate, I’ll just choose to be the bigger guy, and say something nice, or apologetic, or just politely exit the conversation.

But then, just as I begin to think of myself as a perfect sage of patience, some comment thread on some libertarian blog post will start to get nasty and I just can’t help myself. I start out mildly sarcastic and then I move on to catty, and finally it just comes to insults, and I’m back to square one. I end up fatigued and annoyed and gained nothing.

I admit I am powerless, and give myself up to the elder gods of phpBB to set me free of this burden.

7 thoughts on “Troll Feeders Anonymous

  1. A “troll”, as I understand the term, seems to be an insincere and intentionally inflammatory person with little else to do apart from attempting to imitate an amalgam of the boys of South Park when they got really into World of Warcraft, combined with various goblins from television commercials (toe fungus, scrubbing bubbles, Raid). The insincerity alone makes them unworthy of attention, not because they aren’t human, but because we are, and we deserve better than to bring their negativity into our hearts, helping it to spread across the world. I say ignore them completely and pray for their poor hobgoblin souls.

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